• Did you have the surgery?

Don’t ask. Whatever is in our pants is none of your business. 

  • You don’t look like [insert pronoun here]; I didn’t know you were trans.

We don’t exist to fit your norms or to be defined by what you think a man or woman is/looks like. 

  • Are you going to be a girly girl or tough guy?

We don’t know! Seriously, it’s a journey for us to navigate and when we figure it out, we figure it out. Welcome to the spectrum. 

  • You’re trans but you still have (enter dysphoria triggering attribute here) 

For the love of God leave my 5 o’clock shadow alone. I hate it too, I don’t need you to point it out or anything else. 

Last but not least, my personal favorite: (/s)

  • Tranny, He-She, Tomboy, etc. 

Don’t do it. Keep it to yourself. Be nice. If you don’t like us, look the other way. It’s a simple solution to your transphobia. 


  1. Thanks for this! I think a lot of cis folks ask questions but don’t think of how they sound before the words come flying out of our mouths. This kind of thing is helpful!

    Liked by 1 person

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