Quill said he was really lucky growing up with two parents and a younger brother and sister.
“My parents are very loving, very supportive and I also got lucky with my school because I was able to go to a school with a lot of great opportunities. My childhood was pretty great; my parents didn’t impose any gender roles on me or my siblings.”
He didn’t start questioning until he was 19, when his current girlfriend — who is also trans — helped him start to realize more who he really was.
“As our relationship progressed, I started noticing a little bit more about myself. It came into view because before, I focused on school. A lot of things I was saying she noticed that it sounds like gender dysphoria.”
After talking a little bit more about it, Quill realized that maybe those feelings weren’t quite normal.
Because his family was always accepting, he decided to come out to all of them in a single group text in August 2019. They were all supportive and didn’t make a big deal of it, Quill said.
“I wasn’t really surprised because they had always made it known that they’d be accepting no matter what, and I was grateful that I had such a great family.”
In the same month he came out, he started seeing a gender therapist, and began taking testosterone in November of that year. He stopped it for a short amount of time, but has since been taking it consistently.
And in December 2020, he got top surgery and recovered after just a couple months.
“Compared to a lot of top surgery experiences, it went very smoothly and my recovery was pretty quick,” he explained.
Emotionally, “it actually surprised me a lot because I never thought of myself as that unhappy,” Quill said. “With the testosterone, I expected physical changes. What I didn’t expect was the mental changes: I’ve become a lot more confident and calm.
“I used to be an emotional mess, but now I feel stable and less depressed, and it’s really astounding to me how much one hormone can change.”
He chose the name Quill because it’s short, gender-neutral and acts as an homage to his fondness for writing.
And to those who can’t or choose not to come out, he said to “focus on the little things in life that make you happy outside of your gender identity.”